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Do I Stay Home or Work?

Do I stay home or work? The question many of you ask yourself during pregnancy as you prepare for motherhood. For some of you, it's an easy answer: stay home. For others, you really love your job & the thought of staying at home sounds crippling.


So how do you make the decision?


I wish there was an easy explanation or if you could type in your situation to a computer for it to give you an answer/result. The reality is, it might take awhile to full commit to one side or another. But I encourage you that once your decision is made, you take on whatever role you choose without looking back full of regret or "what ifs."


To start off this question, I would have a conversation with your spouse/partner. Talk about one another's expectations because there is a real chance, they could be vastly different. Your spouse may have been raised in home where his mother stayed at home so therefore he has the same mindset for his family/children. You may have some financial goals for your family and so you know that continuing to work full time will help your family achieve those goals. Have this conversation and play out each scenario: what would it look if you stayed home, what would it look like if you worked? Can we afford for me to stay home? This is a good time to discuss daycare or a babysitter and some possibilities for that. Talk about each other's expectations and the opportunity for both options.


I would then imagine yourself in both roles. There isn't a right or wrong solution to staying at home or working so think about yourself in both situations & think about the kind of feelings you will have: Working- Proud? Run down? Exhausted? Joy because you love what you do? SAHM- Content? Isolated? Relieved? Love? Support? To each person, this will look and sound differently and like I said, there is no right or wrong answer. Take these thoughts back to your partner and allow the continuation of the conversation unfold. Ask him: How will you support me in whichever we choose?


To the group of you who financially cannot stay home full time (hello I get it! My husband is a Pastor), be creative and come up with options where you could potentially bring home income and be able to stay home. Will the company you work for allow you to work part time? Is working from home an option? What about finding a specific work at home job? Maybe a job where you can work evenings and weekends so your husband can watch the baby/no babysitter? Get creative. If you desperately want to stay at home with your baby, I fully believe you can make it happen by getting creative and do things that might not be like a typical family. But will it be worth it?


I've been told by so many stay at home mom's that they never regretted staying at home with their kids. I've also heard from working mom's that continuing to work was the best decision for them and their mental health.


So the question is: What will be the best for you?


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